EASILY BROKEN

Mar 17, 2016 | Blog

Broken

Days go by when I am strong, powerful, and filled with courage.

When I see the peaks of the mountains and have no fear of reaching them.

Days when I do not fear the path before me no matter the uncertainty.

Days when I lock my gaze with the dragons, goblins, and unspeakable monsters warring against my soul and know that soon their blood will stain my blade.

“I am mighty,” I say to them. “I am strong.”

But then I feel the heat of the fire. The slash of the goblin’s crooked blade. And the razor sharp claws piercing into my soul and tearing it apart.

I am reminded that I am human. That I am weak. That I am easily broken.

Flesh and blood. A fickle being, slowly rotting away and getting closer to returning to the dust where my ancestors were formed. Where the maggots and the under-earth creatures shall feast upon me.

My strength wavers. My love sways for myself and for others. My hope in a future I thought I could see suddenly vanishes.

My sword is heavy. My shield is splinted. My spear is broken.

“I am mortal,” I whisper weakly. “I am weak.”

But I do not wish to be. I wish to move beyond my brokenness, my weakness. I wish not to be fickle in my love, wavering in my convictions, questioning my moral compass or my belief in my abilities.

But I must be. Why? Because it drives me to the everlasting.

When I am weak. When I am broken, a drive and passion swell within me to seek after a light, a spirit, and cosmic power that stretches beyond the stars, the heavens, and the uncharted reaches of space.

In my weakness I run towards this light. This cosmic being. I lie upon the floor broken and weak and empty. I lift my eyes up, my weakened gaze towards it.

“I am human,” I confess. “I am human.”

I hate it. Being weak. Being broken. Being human. But I must not be.

Why? Because in that weakness, my weakness, in being human I seek out something inhuman. Something that never tires, that never sways, that never changes, and is never weak.

The unchanging. The all-powerful. The everlasting.

I am weak. I am human. I am easily broken.

And I am glad.

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